Here's what a Canadian worker, came up with and forwarded to my field mates in response to the very tasteful color I painted my living quarters:
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Health Warning: Yellow Fever - ___ Township Strain
Description
Yellow fever is a viral disease that can transmitted to humans who are unprotected when visiting Mark's house. Illness ranges in severity from an uncontrollable optimism, to outright dizziness. Some have even found themselves cheering for the Minnesota Vikings. A few individuals appear to be unaffected by the virus, perhaps due to prior exposure to outrageous color schemes.
Transmission of this particular strain of Yellow Fever is only known to occur when visiting the second floor of the identified ___ Township house. Transmission is most probably due to the extreme visual stimulation experienced , or the breathing of air contaminated by the color of the walls. It is not been known to be transmitted through human to human contact.
Occurrence
The strain of the disease has only been known to occur on the second floor of one certain house in ____ Township, Yunlin county, Taiwan.
Areas considered endemic for this strain of yellow fever have evidence of yellow fever transmission to humans and/or its potential, due to the presence of both a competent vector and YFV in nonhuman primates to pet dogs of C&MA missionaries.
Risk for Visitors
A visitor's risk of acquiring yellow fever is determined by various factors, including immunization status, season, duration of exposure, occupational and recreational activities while at the house, and the local rate of virus transmission at the time of travel. Although reported cases of human disease are the principal indicator of disease risk, case reports may be absent because of a high level of immunity in the missionary population (e.g., due to vaccination campaigns), or because cases are not detected by both neighborhood and C&MA surveillance systems.
Preliminary data suggests that there is no risk of fatality from the ____ Yellow Fever virus, but mild to violent discomfort has been experienced by most who have been exposed to this virus.
The risk of transmission is greatly reduced when sunglasses are worn indoors. Confinement to the first floor of the house has also been deemed to be 100% effective.