One place where God has been reminding me of His heart for people these past few months has been in the public school system of the county where I am spending the last part of home assignment before I return back to the field. My experiences substituting have ranged from very good to very bad. The very first day I substituted I was thoroughly abused by middle schoolers—payback for how my classmates and I regarded our substitute teachers all through my schooling years? However, God spoke. Even as I had lost control of the classroom the last few minutes before school ended, one young middle schooler approached and apologized to me privately on behalf of his class. Actually, I believe his apology was an excuse to have a private talk with me. His father had been incarcerated for several years and there was no man at home with whom he could share his heart. Although I could not pray with him in the classroom, God did give me the opportunity to verbally bless him.
In elementary schools, I taught half-day pre-K and full-day kindergarten classes all the way up to fifth grade. I was a little bit amazed that behavior amongst third graders could vary so dramatically in two different classes in the same school! I was reminded as I dealt with a few of these chronic behavioral-problemed kids of the infinite love and patience which God has for me.
With fourth graders, I was amused that the temperaments of kids who had been warned repeatedly before I moved their clothespins to another color (part of the discipline system in some classrooms) would change so dramatically from loudness and laughter to crying and whining like little babies (I guess maybe many of us were like this at that age also—another reminder of God's patience!).
With fifth graders, I was reminded of our utter depravity as sinners as several girls mercilessly taunted and bullied the new girl in class, new in town for only her second day of school. God gave me the chance to intervene on her behalf on several occasions, and to share with her how I had been through similar experiences when as a kid I moved around from school to school numerous times just like she was doing. At the end of the day, she gave me a picture she had drawn of herself (with a tear dropping from her cheek). A picture is something you'd expect from a 6- or 7-year old but certainly not from a fifth grader. God really touched my heart through that little girl.
Experiences in two local high schools were largely positive; however, there was the time one junior would not leave the class as instructed after having been repeatedly warned about his behavior and I had to call the office to send someone over to get him. Little did I know they would send a police officer!
A couple of times I nearly lost it… Once, I laid a hand on the above-mentioned high school student's shoulder when he refused to cooperate… a move which I could have regretted if things had escalated (he was a big guy and I was invading his space). And then there was another group of fifth graders—knowing thoroughly which buttons to press, almost had me rain down a shower of curses on them… negative reminders of the patience and kindness of God as he deals with his errant children.
But the place where I have most keenly sensed the love of the Father has been in a school for special-ed students where I have subbed frequently as of late. Although every individual school has special education options, we have one school here totally dedicated to the purpose. My students have ranged in age from their lower teens all the way up to age 20, but they've all seemed like little kids emotionally and intellectually.
One day I subbed for the music teacher. Part of my job was to hold bells in the hands of students and help them move their arms to the beat of the music, as they were not capable of moving their arms on their own. For others I played CDs and allowed them to beat on drums, tambourines, etc. I heard that the extent of some of the art teacher's projects for any particular day was to help the students touch and mash a ball of clay. In regular classes, I gave the students training assignments of sorting objects in boxes by color or shape… God truly has a heart for these severely disadvantaged kids and I thank Him for giving me the chance through them to glimpse a little more deeply into his heart for all of those around us.